skeet on willa

tell your god there may be blood

2006-06-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

holy smokes. really i have nothing to say because i'm slaving away on my script, so all of my five dollar words have been used and my eyes are rather sore, but this is a sight most definately for sore eyes. kaboomba way to shake the roomba

this and this too.

the spin off will have no proper spelling.

and don't forget to check out the new mr. lif album; buy it from def jux though cause you know, the money will go directly to them as opposed to a bunch of middle men.

don't feel right

2006-06-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

andy dick makes jessica alba feel uncomfortable and awkward and i believe we can all hear the fake laughter from here as well as the expression, "that's really great, andy, but i have to go back on stage."

dunzo bozo

2006-05-25T09:01:00.000-07:00

i honestly don't know where to begin with the two of the biggest of the season's finale last night. one, we all pretty much knew what was going to happen. the other, well, that was a slap in the face.

i'm a fan of "lost" and even though, this past season hasn't been as good as the first season, i still hung around, but the season finale was just terrible. the first 45 minutes was completely boring. well, you know, i'm completely mixed on the episode. there were goods and there were bads, alot of bads. some of the bads outweighing the goods and i say it for simple reason and guess what?

spoilers

of all the characters that kill off in the finale, they let the worst character on the show, charlie live. you're telling i have to deal with another season of charlie grippling with his herion addiction and singing "y'all everybody" one more fucking time? charlie is the mischa barton of "lost". they've done all that is possible with the character. and claire, they're keeping fucking claire around another season for bits about her baby and what not? come on, they are the worst characters on the show who had nothing to it but boring flashbacks.

losing locke, potentialy eko and desmond: what and why? they were good, solid characters that had interesting backstories. although, it seems as if they're going to bring back desmond because they said why he was kicked out of the army and that'll be the big so called surprise episode, very similar in fashion to the episode to that episode where it was revealed that kate killed her step dad and blah blah.

it was a frustrating two hours of television. and i know that i'm not suppose to trust everything out of the mouth of the golden throat announcer, but dude, promised we'd be blown away by the finale and well, for about 90 minutes of it, i was bored. where were the great reveals? where were the 'holy shit' moments? granted, i did love that one shot of desmond running after clancy brown on the cliffs of the beach cause it felt like something out of planet of the apes and probably did say, 'oh shit' but other than that, i just felt like, oh, i could've been watching "american idol" or finally watching the "24" finale, but i stuck around and just waited.

"lost" is becoming alot like this line homer simpson says on the episode of "the simpsons," when marge starts the pretzel wagon and how homer gets the mob to help out marge's sales and at the end of the episode, there's a full fledge war between fat tony and the yakuza on homer's front lawn and marge forces homer inside and of course, homer doesn't want to go inside because there's a guy who hasn't done anything yet in the fight and that if he leaves, the guy will do something cool. okay, long winded, but think about we can't stop watching "lost" for fear of missing out something great or at least, thats how i feel. no matter how shitty it gets, well, i'm thinking of bailing cause i cant stand another season of charlie and claire, but thats beside the point, well that is point, i can't stand two of the main characters and yet, i still watch each week because i have hope that maybe damon lindelof and his writers will pull out something interesting.

they've created helluva of a back story and lots and lots of iggys outside the show, but they need to focus back in on what the show just dealing with the multiple threads and stories and make things interesting again; no doubt the non stop season will help "lost" stay somewhat consistent as opposed to the two new episodes followed by a month of reruns this last season and there are interesting things happening or at least have the potential to be interesting.

the first season's finale ended with such an emotional bang: walt had been kidnapped by the others and michael was left in the ocean, swayner had been shot; it was great. where as this one didn't have any emotional punch to it. i don't have that emotional connection with jack, kate and swayner to be corcerned as they are left on the dock with the others. obviously, i could care less about charlie and claire finally hooking up. the burning question of is locke dead doesn't burn that much in my heart.

seriously, the lost people should talk to the twin peaks people and the x files people.

this is a mess and one of these days, perhaps i'll rewatch the episode, but the problem is that i was so frustrated by the episode, i instantly deleted it off the dvr.

also, didn't it seem like the camera work was way more shakey than usual?

and as for "american idol," from what i watched of it, i'm seriously surprised that the people who canceled "arrested development," but kept "the war at home," didn't put "puck & pickler" on their summer schedule. didn't they see the comedy goldmine in a dumb southern girl being tricked into eating weird food by a crazy austrian guy and their wacky mispronunciations of words. it's like rush hour meets "iron chef".

a rogue, a scoundrel, and a charltan

2006-05-24T16:30:00.000-07:00

sure, sofia coppola's marie antoinette may be a dull, life less, yet beautfiul mixture of kubrick's barry lyndon and mean girls (which, by the way, is ripping something i wrote off, but now i'm just gonna sasy its a mixture of the previous two with the work of harmony korine; makes no sense, but it seems edgey), but at least, she personally knows max fischer and could probably get steve coogan to leave her outgoing voice mail message as duncan thicket or even paul calf.

and she wears hot shoes to her cannes photocalls, which she probably got for free.

and, she manages to look better than kirsten dunst, but if you're a strickler pickler, you may say its not that hard to look better than kirsten dunst these days. i saw a year ago at a rilo kiley show, ufatufa.

an open letter to josh schwartz

2006-05-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

dear josh schwartz & the writers staff of "the oc",

dudes, its been a while. i haven't watched your show in a couple of months. you know once you guys turned katilin cooper from sassy bad girl into a character that emma roberts would play on a tweencom on nick and then the whole on again off again situation between well, every character and their romantic entanglements just turned me off. it didn't feel as if you guys were moving forward, but just going around in circles. granted television is a medium that allows writers to tell a story as long as they want, of course if there isn't any interference from the network (ask the "twin peaks" folks about that), but every episode should move things forward a bit, even if it's like picking up the smallest piece of trash in a dumpster; gotta push things forward unless its a spec script then for the most part, its a singular story written by somebody whose trying to get a job. you guys just got lost and didn't know what to do.

it seems as if you've lost sight of what made the show good in the first place. well, let's be honest, you pretty much did all you wanted and could do with the characters by the end of the first season. but being a show that only lasts a season doesn't make any money for the network and more importantly, it doesn't bring in any of those lovely syndication dollars. the show had that great blend of drama and humor. teens acted like adults and adults acted like teens. it was fun, but somewhere in the second season when the show became about illegitimate daughters and alcoholism, we being the audience just tuned out. we stuck around, but we weren't happy. well, i can't speak for everybody, but i gave you guys a chance during the third season and well, you lost me.

so, now, you've killed one of your lead characters, marissa cooper and quite frankly, its one of the best things you could've done for the show, but there's still a lot more left to bring the show back in shape.

first and formost, lose "california" by phantom planet as the series' theme song. its what branded the show in the beginning, but now it's what holds you back. granted, its nice to see jason schwartzman receive royalties checks from it, but you guys need to move on and create something new. it was a successful theme song because it branded the show, but at the same time, it didcated what your show had to be about. why not go a few episodes without a theme song for a few episodes and just let the radicial reinvention dictate what the theme song is should be.

also, the musicial supervisor needs to look beyond whatever cool band nic harcourt is playing alot of "morning becomes eclectic" that week. granted there's been some good songs on the show here and there and depending upon one's musicial sensibilites, you're the one to blame/prasie for the success of death cab for cutie, but you know, switch it up a bit. the hipster kids, the scene kids, the indie kids whatever you want to call them or whatever you want to call your characters listen to the hip hop, the rap music or at least the ones in the real world.

there's more to music than just spoon and jeff buckley and i'm not suggesting that we see seth cohen do the young joc dance or see taylor townsend rocking a diplo tee; be nice though. i'm just saying open the musicial horizons a bit more. to me, it'd interesting, since i'm assuming that katlin cooper when season 4 starts is going to be a little messed up in the head or at least going through a bit of a funk or at least it'd seem natural for a character to act that after dealing with a great and such significant loss as losing one's older sibbling, why doesn't she listen to cage or something along those lines. lots of chicks who take their clothes off on websites that never launch are into cage; so why can't katilin cooper be into cage? just imagine the delicious juxaposition between cage's lines about the dreary scenery of new york against the bright, wealthy, and sunny backdrop of hermosa beach, i mean, newport beach.

of course, i'm assuming that it'll be easy to get clearance to use cage's music and what not.

speaking of katilin cooper, is she going to be all about gucci bags and what not? or she going to be wearing a black bandana with the misfits logo on it around her neck with some killer boots? yes, its a show about privileged kids living in a shallow town, but the show needs a rebel figure and well, ryan, even at his most james dean-est couldn't really successfully pull off that rebel vibe. if anything, ryan just made us think why is that guy wearing a leather jacket during the day in southern california? who the heck does he think he is? nick cage in wild at heart? katlin cooper needs to be the new rebelious figure on the show; not some new new kid from the wrong side of the tracks or some cowabunga, dude surfer dude from the wrong side of the tracks. let's think out of the box a bit more and focus in on rich kids who do more than dating the surfing meth dealer guy, but instead of dress up in tight jeans, have ratty, unwashed hair and drink way too much jack daniels. thats another form of rebellion and well, thats a bit more interesting than a guy in tight wife beater.

perhaps, this might make more sense, but probably not because i'm a pretenious windbag, but anyways, you know some rock journalists/historians will tell you that punk rock when it came out in the mid 70s was a reaction to bands like pink floyd and led zepplin with their super long songs and guitar solos and light shows? okay, now apply this to season 4 of "the oc," while bands like led zepplin and pink floyd are great and all, but sometimes, there's nothing quite like the brilliance and burst of energy one gets when listening to "attitude" by the misfits. so what i'm saying is, katilin cooper is an excuse to punk rock up the show.

the show can still have all the little emo pouts sessions and witty pop culture references (yes, i just called just the kettle black) and storylines involving adults that run around in circles, but let's have a character wearing tight jeans and slightly over sized stripped t-shirt with a digital camera in her back pocket.

so, in the fall, on thursday night, i'll be there or at least, my dvr will be there hoping to see katilin cooper muck racking.

sincerely,

douglas reinhardt
hit me up on imeem

the skeet on... hot 10 of 2006

2006-05-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

following the logic of 'i have an opinion, so everybody else should hear it,' and my fondness for making lists and my overall disagreement with this year's maxim hot 100 list; namely, eva longoria being number one for a second year in a row. 2005, yeah, i'll give it to you because you know "desperate housewives" just first hit the scene and nobody knew about her and it was an startling experince. yet as she became more famous and dated an extremely overrated basketball player, the less hotter she became.

so i present to you without further gérard depardieu, the skeet on... actual top 10 hot ladies out there right now.

1. ginnifer goodwin

2. julissa

3. rich white chicks from sherman oaks

4. nora zehetner

5. rihanna

6. kristen bell

7. adriana lima

8. vanessa minnillo

9. briana hicks

10.the brunettes of g4 tv

*in three years from now, willa holland will be on this list, but not now cause its against the law.

my favorite stooges song is the titled the exact opposite of this...

2006-05-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

adriana lima has the best life humanly possible and she'll do any and everything to rub it in your face.

what kind of ice princess is karolina kurkova?

look at gisele trying way too hard to be captian wacky; everybody can see right through her.

it truly is great to be adriana lima.

getting there....

2006-05-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

i swear that this is going to be update again one of these days, but you know what, we're too busy getting drunk to do anything about it.

stand by...

2006-04-21T00:27:00.000-07:00

for some reason, i can't log into the mischa account, but i can post on the spin off.

stand by. things maybe getting wiggy and wonky in a couple.

mark out

2006-03-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

i've never really felt comfortable talking about this, but i have to say that i've become a big fan of the bubba the love sponge show on sirius. in particular, ned, the old guy who makes the best prank phone calls in the history of prank calls or at least, his calls rank number 2 behind the classic 'i see o.j.' call from stern all those years ago (do you remember where you were when the slow speed chase happened? i was at disneyland; sixth grade graduation party). i attempt to keep this facade up that i'm above redneck things and you know, bubba is this low borrow, hillbilly business, but, sadly, i sit right next to my radio at 1 o'clock listening to his show for like three hours straight. i'm not even doing anything most days. you know, i'm getting to the point where i get frustrated that i miss his show on friday afternoons cause i'm in class and i'm upset that i miss a bit of the show when i'm in class on monday nights; wednesday nights, not so much, but thats a whole other story that you have to hear in person. so loyal and faithful readers, be pleased advised that i may use terms like 'mcgillicutty' from time to time.

and finally, this is a long winded tale, but it has a point and its also somewhat embarrassing. now, i once saw the band, rainer maria open for rilo kiley a couple years ago and it was one of the most boringest things i ever saw. all be it, it was like 100 kids in the main room at the glasshouse (imagine that, a rilo kley show that didn't sell out, so weird), but like, there were these three people and i think one guy was wearing shorts and no shoes and i don't know,, it was just bad. and from that point on, i always made the joke that if you want to fall asleep, go see rainer maria in concert. now flash forward to either a month ago or two weeks ago, i'm listening to the radio and i hear this amazing song. it was upbeat, insanely catchy, and just a great song, so i check the scroll and lo and behold, its a new song by rainer maria. so people, i'm eating my words, not only do i like a song by rainer maria; its called "catastrophe keeps us together," but i sat by my radio for 4 hours the other day to see if they would play it caused i called in to request it. i sat in my office, patiently waiting to hear while working on this thing for school, just hanging on the scroll to see what song would come up next and they never played it. they played two shitty rem songs in that time span, but no rainer maria song. sure, they could've and probably played it while i was waiting for my sandwiches for lee's, but here's even weirder, i told a friend of mine about the song and that was like a week ago today or yesterday, but here's the thing, i heard it for the first time today since talking to my friend about it. so maybe, i'm hoping that i write about it, maybe sirius will play rainer maria's "catastrophe keeps us together" alot more often and less r.e.m.; i mean, don't they belong on the 30+ station for people in thie mid 30s? lets keep the indie station a bit younger.

hold tight

2006-03-01T12:20:00.000-08:00

don't ask why, but i was doing a google search for winston churchill and somehow, much like everything on the internet, it naturally leads to sex, but a great figure in history leads to annoymous people trying to hook up with each other while using pictures they stole off of peoples' myspace profiles.

your retro career finally has melted aka murder in the make believe ballroom

2006-02-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

i don't know what's worse, cornrows rose and some saline; isn't that jumping the shark? i thought the snake was the home to the 18 year old annoxeric boys of l.a. who dress like axel in '88 or like nikki sixx in '86; you know they're continuing to live the myth that cornrowlio created and made so interesting, but, now, here's a man who apparently goes to the same hair stylist that christina arguelira went to during her 'dirty' phase and who are these kids going to look up to? who are these kids going to say that they totally party harder than (insert name) now that axel looks like a goofy security guard at a high school football game. where are the hard partying rock stars that the kids are going to look up to?

is it cisco alder and the whitestarr fiasco? is he the last of the dying breed of drugged up, consistently drunk american rock stars? i'm sure there's alot of drunks and druggies still in music, but where are the ones who make rock music. yeah, conor obsert is all about that, but he makes sad bastard music and can't sing for shit and quite frankly, if we have kids wanting to be him, then there should be a draft and only those kids would be picked to go to war. but i'm saying where are the live fast, die young rock stars? you know everybody wants to live past 27 and get to that paul mccartney level where they dick around guitar for a few hours in a stadium and make enough dough to own a small island. for as much as i don't like cisco alder, i have to admint, at least, he's leading a rock star lifestyle. drinking, drugs, famous girlfriends. now we're only missing one thing, an album.

this girl reminds me of a girl i acted in a scene with. i'm no actor by any strentch of the imagination; i'm also no writer either; but anyways, i was acting in a scene with this girl (not the girl in the photo, but another one) and the girl was supposed to be playing my sister and it was weird cause i thought she was kinda cute and on top of that, another girl in the scene was supposed to be my love interest or something and i didn't find her attractive at all. so i tried to use the feelings i had for one girl on the other and vice versa, but it was difficult since the girl who looked like the girl in this photo had those really piercing eyes that it'd sorta take me a back for a minute. not to mention, she was really intense; almost too intense. anyways, then like a week later, i saw the girl from the scene someplace and she started to wave in my direction and i thought it was towards me, but naturally, it was to the person behind me

an oscar winner has made it onto cobrasnake? in a way, it signals the end for both because, why is an oscar slumming it on a nerdy website and what happened to hot shots of sceney girls who'd never talk to me with killer whompbompers? i know that jamie foxx is trying to be an 'entertainer' by doing it all, but i don't know whose he entertaining these days? do you guys remember philip michael thomas? if you don't, he was on "miami vice". anyways, i saw an interview he did back at the height of "miami vice" madness and he said that he was going to be the first actor to win an oscar, a tony, an emmy, and a grammy and i think he also said that he'd do it all in the same year. here's the thing and it's rather ironic based on jamie foxx's role in the michael mann's miami vice, but if you really think about jamie foxx is on a pathway to have the career that philip michael thomas wishe he had.

see, this is what i'm talking about. so the girl isn't hip, but there's some major whompbomperage going on and i remember the salad days when it was sneaky, sorta creepy photos of girls with bazooms at clubs

but now, its sorta looking like njguido or at least, mommy's night out cause i could finally find a decent baby sitter. while i'm at it, if anybody outta there is a hip parent with kids and have been itching to hit the clubs, contact me and maybe we could arrange some babysitting situation. bear in mind, i'll probably just eat all of your apples and make your kid watch alan partridge all night; southern orange county only, please.

yeah, holy moly. the one on my right, mostly though.

here's the thing, i'm a so cal kid even though i don't wear vans, but i do like girls who wear dirty white vans and i fought my urge very hard to not shout 'g-unot!' while a person in a class of mine gave a presentation on 50 cent; instead i waited until the end and said that his movie tanked and thus, his message isn't as popular as it once was. and i'm a total game mark, but if the dude from good charlotte is hanging out with the game and being a big mark than me, then i may just have to delete all of my game tunes off my slver phone. it only takes one person to ruin a good thing

one of the numerous things i don't get is how everybody says that isabella rossellini is beautiful. granted, isabella rossellini has great genes, but beautiful, i don't get so much. beautiful if she was a junor high english teacher. but if you were to tell that this girl was isabella rossellini, then i'd believe about her being of the most beautiful in the world.

i don't know what's cooler? this girl or her bootleg bart simpson t shirt? i'm leaning towards the bootleg. seriously, krudmart needs to sell bootleg simpsons shirts.

the girl dancing by herself is a rare creature to me, only because i get depressed and have panic attacks while at clubs. its just not for me. there's the whole cover, then there's whole issue of buying drinks, but since i want to drop some lbs, i can't drink anymore. then there's everybody crushed together, let alone worrying about matters such as dress code and such not. i'm not sure if these people let people who wear sports causal gear into this establishment. and they never play my song("hustlin'"by rick ross, cause everyday, i'm hustlin). so i'm sure that the girl dancing by herself is all too common sight, but why doesn't anybody start to dance sorta near her by themselves to look as if they're dancing next to her? like that when lloyd dobbler takes that picture with ione skye at the beginning of say anything. if a camera captures it and you're sorta near the girl, it'll look as if you danced with her and you could show all of your buddies that you danced with some girl whose top nearly fell off while bumping around some bloc party remix

me and my mrs jones

2006-02-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

even though she has a "hi, i'm kim from cleveland" vibe (go watch mr show first & second season dvd, to catch the reference), i still think e! reporter & "dancing with the stars" co host, samantha harris is kinda hot. she has that 'that goes where?!' vibe as well. i think she's a charlotte, but its still cool.

i must make note of the fact that all this week while i've been writing at night, i've been listening to the queens of the stone age's first album and its such a great album. it was before all the bullshit with dave ghrol and what have you nots. fact: you can't go wrong with the first two queens of the stone age albums; everything after "rated r" is a crap shoot that i'm not willing to play.

if anybody's interested, old ricky gervais xfm radio shows can be found here.

now, i'm not sure if i've told this story before. i think i've only told a few people this story and for a brief while, it was my away message on instant messanger for a smidge as well. now, allow myself to preface this story, now, sure it could've been a joke that i took the wrong way and most likely it was. then again, one of the parties involved in this particular tale did go to my high school and my school has produced a few jerks and employeed the c wordy mother of that homewrecker kristy swamson for a brief time.

anyways, last winter, i was doing a group project with this girl, who happened to be engaged and that always weirds me out. people my age getting married and what not, but as i'm getting up in years, i should be getting used to it by now, but i never will. anyways, some me and this girl met like once a week at a starbucks, talked for like 45 minutes about the project, then we left back on our seperate ways. this happened for like three weeks. just some coffee and some schoolwork, thats all it was.

so cut to the day that project is done and turned in and me and the girl are talking, mindless chit chat and she says to me that her fiancée was getting jealous of the time we were spending together. now, this wasn't wrecking a marriage completely, but for me, coming to fairly close to wrecking a marriage has to be one of my greatest accomplishments. my big thing is this, what is there to be jealous over with me? i can't back a car out of a parking spot. i have panic attacks and well, i wear a hoodie that a girl once told me that she also has, but its a bit bigger. so i can't really fanthom the concept of another man being jealous of me and 45 minute work sessions i had with his fiancee. i mean, there's something definately rotten in denmark with that relationship.

then again, it probably was a joke, but quite frankly, i'm not going to believe it and i'm going to continue on living out this bizzare fantasy that i could have been the cause for a lover's spat. i sorta felt like spiderman after that incidnet. you know with great power comes responbility. if you're not careful, you could cause somebody to breakup.

g for goofing

2006-02-23T08:01:00.000-08:00

you know how when you're in class and you'd just doodle on the side margins of your notes; either writing the name of your favorite band or doing some little jerky drawing. whatever will take your mind out of that dull lecture. sometimes, it works and sometimes, it lead your nowhere and if anything, you got in trouble for it. believe you me, you just don't want to write down the names of classic metallica albums on your paper in the first grade either.

well, i'm still in school and i got bored the other day and i was thinking about that movie, v for vendetta and what other movie titles i could think up using that same motif. the whole letter for a word starting with that letter movie thing. i only made a couple or i just did a couple, but then we had a break and i ran laps around the building and completely forgot, but here are the ones that made the cut:

-z for zebra: naturally, a kids movie starring james gandolfini as an uptight and by the book zoo keeper who gets a renegade zebra for his zoo and they become a crime fighting team.

-x for xenophobic i thought this might be a nice follow up to crash

-t for the terrible thompson twins of tacoma and their tyrannosaurus rex terry; i mean that sorta explains its self; it'd be a perfect dakota fanning vechile. sorta like the parent trap meets kubricks' the shining, but with dinosaurs

jeremy piven status

2006-02-22T10:15:00.000-08:00

its safe to say that i have a problem with nbc & its coverage of the olympics. quite frankly, there's too much of it and i can't sleep properly because conan o'brien isn't on; instead there's only jay leno. i actually took some time out of my busy schedule to watch the olympic tonight show and it was just so upsettting. you're telling me that i can't watch for another week but i get to watch some douche tell about 20 dick chenney jokes in the span of 10 minutes, followed by some fucking intern drinking coffee in an italian coffee bar, followed by 10 minutes of tom green bothering good, decent italian folks and to cap it off, after that an interview with rob fucking schneider, whose now co opted jeremy piven's look; you know, the whispy comb over bangs and a slighty hail ceaser haircut. you're telling me that this is the only comedic outlet on the network during the olympics? no wonder the coverage is tanking. it's not fun. it's not slutty and above all, how many people have hi def tvs, so they can actually enjoy the thing?

i've seen only one thing in hd, it was the greatest show of all time, "arrested development," but i still know that the olympics will only be interesting in hd. those snowcap mountains need to be seen on giant, crystal clear tvs.

every now and then, i'll stumble upon a show on kcra channel 62 that just blows my mind. first, it was jose luis sin censure, then it was buscando amor and now, we have estudio 2. i don't know what it was, nor do i have great understanding of the spanish language, but i know funny when i see funny and its a hispanic ventriloquist act. i wish i could convey to you exactly how good it was, but, it was just amazing. there were two vibes going on during the act. the first vibe was that typical, ohmygod, its a fucking dummy and i can see that guy's mouth move and its really creepy and i have the chills. and then there's this other weird vibe of feeling bad and then eventually being won over by the guy and laughing your fucking head off. and with me as a viewer, i bring a third vibe to the table, laughing like an idoit but not understanding a word of what's being said except for when they say, 'houston'. i need to hang out with a girl who speaks spanish, so she could explain to me what's so funny.

soft rock parking lot

2006-02-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

for someone who makes such shitty music, celine dion is an undercover rocker. i wouldn't be surprised if she pops up on the second season of "rock star"; although our vote is with mandy murders

cinnamon girl

2006-02-20T08:02:00.000-08:00

he may have lived the dream, by actually skeeting on mischa a bunch of times and his dad gets to go to lakers games with nicholson and probably knows how to parrell parking, but it still doesn't change the fact that cisco alder looks a total asshole on the cobrasnake. these dudes are too stoked to be on it. like if it was summer of '04, then yeah, i'd understand being stoked and like, holy shit, we're gonna get tons of hits on our band's myspace page, but its 2006 and you know the thing has reached its uncool point when its been in the la times and hiliary duff has been there a couple of times; not mention, steve aoki, was in a fucking a diet pepsi commercial; so their retro careers have melted

whatever hapened to the concept of america's next idol on "american idol" being a babe? look at the contestans and none of the girls are outta control, but barely register on the cute scale. given this girl is kinda cute, but i saw her on there with black lip liner and i thought she had a mustache. this girl is against the law and i don't want her to win cause she's got the semi charmed life (3rd eye blind style), you know her mom's a local tv personality, dad's a state senator and has a basketball scholarship. fuck that, she doesn't need this thing; if anything, this whole experince will be a funny story to tell other wives of senators at fundraisers and luncheons 20 years from now. i'm pulling for this girl cause she's from the orange curtain, but if anybody deserves to win, it's this girl cause she has the hard luck story

or this guy because he's so unbelievablely creepy; whenever i see this guy on there, my skin crawls and i get douche chills all at the same time; he's on par with buffalo bill from silence of the lambs and john doe from seven. so creepy and naturally, we all have to vote for him. i mean, if we can't have a babe as the american idol, we might as well have a guy whose just as likely to have a babe locked away in his cellar.

derek doi is in japan and he did karaoke in the same bar that bill murray did it in lost in trasnlation. jealous? you bet.

andre iguodala should've won the dunk contest. politics aside, that was probably one of the better dunks contest in a very long time. i don't remember if it was his first or second dunk iguodala did, but that one dunk he did where he ran out of the building aftewards was amazing. at that point, who else was going to challenge a thing like that? sure the nate robinson dunk were dunked over spud webb was very popazoo!, but those early iguodala was strictly redicly.

related: welcome to the king james era; its been nice knowing you mr. k-o-b-e.

from what i heard of the new pretty girls make grave album, which isn't a lot, is to under whelm people. the last couple of records were rather fast, so now, we're gonna cool things out for a minute and do some free form jazz exploration type business. you know, different strokes for different folks, but i hope there's a rocker or two on there.

i think less people would take shits on canada as a country if they changed their national anthem to the broken social scene's "it's all gonna break".

okay, here's the thing and i assume that somebody has touched upon this subject before, but when the designers on "extreme makeover: home edition" do some kid's room, do they ever take into consideration that while for the present, the room will be snacktular for the kid, but you know, 3 years down the road, it's going to be a bit of embarrasement? well, i was really into science a few years ago, so they made me a microscope bed. i understand that these people are doing great and wonderful things, but how long regardless of the fact that it was for free and what not, how long is a kid going to be into a room centered around candy?

i think the i hate pink is the new blog myspace thing got deleted; it used to be at myspace.com/ihatepinkisthenewblog but alls i get is an invalid user.

did you see this...
-the episode of mtv's parental control where the dad wore a button up planet hollywood shirt? you're going on national television, so it would be assumed that one would dress nicely, perhaps even going out and purchasing a new shirt simply for the moment, but nope, gotta stay gangster and represent a defunct, failed celebrity themed resturant. yet thats the worst of the problems with that show. take it back, the show can be good only when the parents are interesting. like if its about parents picking out a new girlfriend from their son, then its good because its the father basically picking the girl he'd like to date. i remember seeing this one episode where the father picked out this girl with curly hair for his show and from what little i knew about the guy's son, i knew it was the absolute worst choice ever because the son was a bro and generally, bros aren't in sorta chubby girls with curly hair unless they look like felicity. its just a thing. its one of the few things i know in this world.
-the episode of "cheaters" where they busted the guy having sex in a car with some girl behind a strip mall and so, the guy started to run around the strip mall for like 5 minutes without any pants on, then stole somebody's underwear out of the laundromat? that ranked right up there with the episode where joey greco got stabbed and the one where the guy knocked over the portapotty with the other guy in it. if they made a gong show movie and a jerry springer movie and a jackass movie, why not a cheaters movie? 85 swampy minutes of joey greco on his cellphone saying, 'what do you got for me?' and more girls making out with each other in public toliets. bet you dollars to donuts that a cheaters film will be a trillion times better than crash.

hot dog, we have a weiner!

2006-02-18T17:35:00.000-08:00

ladies and germs, may i present to you, triple acadmey award nominated writer/actor/director, george clooney eating a hot dog:

and by the looks of it, it was probably the best hot dog clooney has ever had.

what do you think oscar mayer? hebrew national? nathan's?

under control

2006-02-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

bill murray rules. plan and simple.

i want to say that i'm not a nice person, but that just comes off being really pretenious and i'm not a contest on "project runway," so we'll leave that to them. but anyways, my issue with the olympics, well, they really stem from an event at my high school were an olympic medal winner went there and she won homecoming queen and i thought it was bullshit and i booed her. but its more than some girl who took a silver medal beating out the hot girl; it's this, i probably have ocd. instead of being really tiddy, i go to great lengths to be messy and cluttered. so, i'm stuck in these little runts where if something isn't in comfortable zone, i freak out or at least within reason. now, allow me to explain how the olympics comes into this, conan isn't on and all this week, i haven't been sleeping well at all. i need to watch conan o'brien before i go to bed or at least know that he's on somewhere before i can safely fall asleep. in other words, its a security blanket and while i don't think that armageddon is going to happen the following morning. i got stern on, so i know that all right is with the world until that point in the day when conan is on and i can't sleep or at least i lie in bed until i eventually fall asleep. sure, i could buy his dvd, but it's not the same. so alls i'm saying is this, next week, just trade off, let conan host a week of olympic tonight shows. let conan do his thing for a week. i mean, in a year or two from now, conan is going to be in that time slot, right? so why not let him get a little used to it? people, you can't buy a car without testing driving it.

take that back, i got a car without testing driving it.

but, you know, there's just something wrong in me staying up until like 1:45 in the morning watching reruns of x play. i don't even play video games, yet its the only thing that's remotely funny on that late. i'd watch kimmel, but you know, its worn its self out and nobody goes on that show, so its never interesting enough for me to watch. then there's that craig fergurson bullshit, which i don't get it all. it just seems like twenty minutes of him telling horrible jokes that he knows are going to fall flat, then like another ten minutes of stories about how he was some sitcom with eddie van halen's ex wife, then another 5 minutes of impression and then a bunch of boring guests. at least when craiggers kilby was the host, he'd talk about how he was going to fuck the supermodel on the show that night all throughout the show. freguson is just like, i'm scottish, yippity dippitdy.

so, conan needs to come back, so i can sleep and i can be a little nicer to everybody.

i flipped on the regular radio the other day while i was briefly in the bathroom. it was kroq and i had no clue about the music they were playing. some band called rock kills kid had the most requested song and i was like, i think i saw those guys open for somebody once and i thought about slitting wrists the whole time they were playing inbetween thinking what a horrible fucking name. and there was some other band that sounded like fallout boy but it wasn't fallout boy, now i've only had sirius for about two months now, but could have i gotten so out of touch with regular, payoloa radio within those two months? or has kroq just become the radio station for tweens and high school kids and a couple of community college kids while indie103 is for the 20 and up crowd who doesn't like it when nic harcourt plays world music on kcrw? and power106 canceled friday night flavas, so what's going on with southern california radio? i heard some people on stern's old station talking about how one of the talk show guys hung out with some dude from the salvation army and how they went to the dog track together. was there a point in my life when i thought this accounted for good radio? fuck. here's what i want everybody to do, find somebody that you know with sirius or even xm to a lesser extent, drive around in there for a couple of hours, more specifically, get stuck in morning rush hour traffic with that person and listen to stern and tell me you're not ready to make the leap unless, you're not a stern person, then drive around at night, listen to the aphilliates on friday night and be like, whoa, i'll be downloading this shit next saturday cause thats how exclusive everything is over there.

briana hicks is the girl in the itunes installer thing. killer.

okay, so i finally got the new motorolla slvr phone and its rather kill. when you put it in your back pocket, it doesn't feel as if a phone is in your back. its not bulky; it just fits just right. here's the part that i like and i'm still working out the kinks of the situation. it has itunes, but here's the hook, you don't have to have headphones on to listen to the songs on your phone. sure it comes out of a tiny speaker and it nowhere sounds as good as it would if you would've been listening to it with headphones, but here's my point and you may have already seen my point illustrated in a series of horrible verizon wireless commercials (they're not union, so fuck verizon). with this phone, you're one step closer to actually having your theme music. now for example, i'm walking to class and i want everybody else around me to hear my theme, lets say it's 'starring at the sun' by tv on the radio, it can be heard by other people in theory and they may not understand where that music is coming from, but they'll associate that tv on the radio classic with me. its even more powerful than having a wacky ringtone. just imagine walking out of a class after bombing the mid term, pop out the phone, hit play that spoon song you love so much and kaboomba! you're in very own episode of "the oc". i think i'm going to use the juelz santana version of "bandanas" as my theme song, but i'm a socal kid (i don't wear vans though), so i may have to rock the chuck taylor version of "bandanas". although, i may just continue to cruise around with anne hardy's lovely cover of "god only knows" as my theme song.

if you walk away, i'll walk away

2006-02-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

i have a problem with this jesse metcalfe guy winning a award. granted that its a award from cosmo, so they're probably not rewarding much, but i have a problem as to what exactly is fearless about this man? cause he was photographed with one of these human animal hybirds? cause he's on a misson to bang every girl from jersey? or is he fearless because he looks like carson daly? yes, this is a frvilous and pointless award, but at the same time, what has this guy that is truly fearless? i guess its fun that he's on the path to holla at every single girl who's ever picked up an issue of cosmo, but fearless? nope. and what's going to hurt these awards is that next year when they do, jeese metcalfe is going to be there, but he'll be parking cars. and he's gonna be really bitter about it and talk to the other valvet guys about how he won that same award last year and they'll be like, 'get the fuck out of here and make space for that limo, then you've won the chance to go on an in-n-out run for us'. if we're going to give awards to people, lets make sure that these people actually deserve it, even if its bullshit awards like the fun, fearless men of the year.

i understand giving a award to matt leinhart cause he hooked up with a jailbait kristin 'jennifer grey' cavallari and won a couple of national championships. now thats a lot of fun and fearless. where as this metcalfe guy? is he fearless cause he goes to all of his auditions without a shirt on? lets take back awards, people and lets make them actually mean something again. how far away are we from jesse metcalfe winning a nobel prize cause he's got impeckable pecks. first, bono is in the running for a peace prize, then next year, it'll be the gardener dude from "desperate housewives".

isn't funny where dick chenney is going to his silence on the shooting? i know its stealing a joke from stern, but who has satellite radio? you know that fox is gonna spin that the guy chenney shot was a member of al qaqe and he was another number 2 guy for that organization.

speechless part 2

2006-02-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

and look at her, she's not even embarrased to be photograph in camel toe pants at all. so you know that makes the outfit even better than we thought. her friend or personal stylist or personal assitant seems remotely embarrased by the outfit, but rachel b keeps on trucking.

or maybe the friend is just skecthed out by the photogs and what have you nots. or her friend is worried about being busted by the robertson blvd fashion police. they're gonna tell that she's not dressed crazy enough and she didn't spend enough money for a celebrity and what not.

speechless

2006-02-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

yeah, i don't know what to say either, than saying, are there any higher res scans of these photos? i mean like yeah. what happened to rachel b? its a hot outfit, but its a hot outfit because it seemed she dressed in the dark and its spandex and its rachel b. if like ruth buzzie was cruising around in this outfit, then its awful, but there's a certain body type that could pull off this look and it doesn't look cheap cause she's holding a bunch of what seems like expensive bags.

but yeah, its still rather awesome and why doesn't she dress like a pot dealer's girlfriend on "the oc" more often?

i get wet part 2

2006-02-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

the thing about photos of mischa barton from russian gossip magazines is that they're infintely more interesting than any photo found in the regular rags and most likely, the photo is about 6 months to a year and half old. check it out though, mischa b gets ripped while drinking coronas without the lime; how hardcore is that?

related; corona is the only beer that makes me throw up. perhaps it stems from an incident where i had drink warm year old beer for a shot in a student film. not to mention, i had no lime. then again, how good is a beer if you have to have a lime in order for it to taste good? given that unless we live next door to the guiness brewery or the heinkein brewery, we're never gonna have the greatest tasting beer ever imagine, but still, why do you need a lime for it to make it happen for you.

the thing about last night's "flavor of love," is this, when smiley was cut, i was beginning to get into her 'character,' and think she's was all right, for an 'erotic' dancer and all. then you check the link above and read her space profile and see that she has three kids and its like, say what? either they edited that out of the show or she kept that very well hidden; but for the most part, for having three kids, smiley looks really good.

related, pumkin is a hoe cause she had sex on reality tv and has horrible myspace photos

damon packard's reflections of evil probably is a film that you've never heard of unless you're a super big movie nerd; bigger than me, but it's a film that you need to be aware because how crazy it is and how it was made and quite simply, how great it is. to make the comprassion between reflections of evil and any other film isn't doing reflections of evil any justice because it's unlike any other film i've seen. sure you could say its in the vein of early david lynch, but its not really. if anything reflections of evil is like those psychedelica films from the late 60s, but its scarier. it's like the worst acid trip ever imagined, but its really entertaining and so satisfying. it's slowly paced at the begninning, but then, something happens and the film just flys and you want to watch more. so here's the thing, if you go to film's site, you can buy the dvd for ten bucks and it's totally worth it because its the whole way you'll ever see a film this great and amazing.

unless, you're in the same class as me on friday afternoons; to annymous poster, yes and now, my cover has been blown.

i'd say that this story would've way funnier and way cooler if it was the other way around, but that sketch on "the state" about those kids in class talking hypothetically about the president, remember that sketch? yeah, i'm gonna remain quiet, but then again, i already think i'm on a watch list cause i said bush sucks on ryan seacrest's talk show two summers ago.

god bless 'em

2006-02-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

-the mystery girl issue has been solved. her name is brianna and she's awesome.

-damon packard and his film, reflection of evil. i just got a copy of it today; will probably watch his film later, but from the looks of it, its going to be fucking crazy; perhaps even more crazy than dirty mary, crazy larry.

-sleep. this the one of the few problems with sirius radio. everything is amazing and great, but we need two more music channels. first, a nerdy, back pack underground rap station, so i can get cannibal ox as well as my dilated on while in traffic and two, a stoner/doom/sludge whatever the fuck you want to call it, metal channel.

and "arrested development" just destroyed everything and the v mars shoutout was merely a cherry on top.

so much for the city

2006-02-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

talk about a blow to the spin off blog as on last night's episode of "the oc," katilin cooper, the 'only built 4 cubin linx' of the show, if you will left the big city for santa barbara; probably to never be seen again until the ratings start to sag like a large breasted woman in her 60s. i just don't understand these writers. they'll put us through character hell for 8 or 10 episodes with all of this johnny business, which nobody cept for 13 year old girls in the mid west who've never seen the ocean liked. yet, willa holland, a budding internet phenomena gets the seeyalaterbye treatment after what, 3 episodes or so? what gives? was she blowing our minds too much that she had to go, so it could be eased back into the weekly medicority of seth cohen blowing somebody's cover and scene all over the tv and ryan brooding like a dimestore james dean? (i just watched rebel without a cause this week and "the oc" pretty much for most of the notes is a remake of that film cept the gay subtext is taken down a couple of notches)? willa holland brought back that fun, slutty, bitchy vibe that made the show fun during its first season. remember when summer wouldn't touch seth with a ten foot pole? that was good because we've all known that girl in high school and we've all seen that girl since high school at the bowling alley, dressing like its still 2000. the whole seth & summer thing, clearly is josh schwartz's massive writer's hand affecting the show; this is him and probably most of the dudes on the staff living that high school revenge fantasy out. and i guess, it worked for a season or two, but now, its just dullsville 90210. then there's the whole ross & rachelness of marissa & ryan, which already is played out. you know, their relationship would make for great fodder on the who gives a shit channel on sirius radio.

sometimes, i think i miss the point of episodic television because viewers are supposed to be able to pop in and out of episodes each week and be able to continue on with the show without missing a beat. you know, at the end of each episode is returned to normal or at least as normal as it can get. i don't like the fact that everything has to return normal by the 9:55 mark. this show just has the pressure to have everything or nearly everything worked out by the end and its just dull and of course, writing off the best characters.

while we've been livin' it up(watch the pop ups) with katlin cooper, there's been this really weird and rather unnecessary storyline about julie cooper & summer's dad going out and its just been every single week, they have the same fucking conversation and the same fucking pauses; its as if they just wrote one bit of dialogue for these two and just cut and paste it each week to the new script. bring summer's dad back into the show just seems as if the actor's agent called the producers up, mentioned about how he had some monsterious gambling debts and need a break, and hollywood being an industry full of sympathic people naturally did the solid. but here's the thing, they're not doing the viewers a solid by forcing to sit through this driviel. sure, i understand what makes the show different and special is that it features the parents in the storylines as well, but sometimes, maybe, we need to ease off the parents' jock and let the kids be kids for a minute; i mean, isn't that why we're watching? sexy young people doing sexy and young things and ocassionally saying sexy funny things?

also, what happened to nikki reed? i thought her character was going to be katlin cooper's slutty friend from boarding school and they were gonna slut shit up, but boom bazooka joe, she's dressed like jam band reject, hocking hooky jewelry. but there's a dark and seedy past to this girl, so naturally ryan has to become her protector, last song on "white blood cells" by the white stripes style. why does every new character have to have this sketchy past thats instantly brought to boil whenever ryan comes near it. why not have a storyline about ryan building a birdhouse and see how that goes or will the birds he's building the house be associated with some much tougher and meaner birds that don't want them in their part of town?

here's to hoping that josh schwartz or some writer is crafting an oc spin off about katlin cooper slinging crack rock in santa barbara and getting into fights with real estate magnet, jay thomas and if fox passes on it, please let the cw pick up.

lock n load

2006-02-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

next to the dvr, my favorite thing about digital cable is the on screen menu which provides a description of the episode. episode name and a two line summary of the show. sometimes, these description give too much away and other times, the descriptions turn out to be better than the actual episode its self.

para example the description for this sunday's brand new, "zoey 101". the episode description simply is this:

"zoey challenges a group of science nerds to a robot war"

quite frankly, it can't get any better than that, but at the same time, its going to be so crushing when i watch this particular episode of zo because what i have built in my mind will be so disapointing. like i have this vision of zoey struggling to build a robot in her dorm room and like nicole spills some blix on zoey's circuit board and her robot doesn't work anymore and its like a two hours before the robot war, so she decides to put her brother, dustin, into the robot and have him fight the other robots and zoey wins, but at the end of the robot wars, admints she cheated and like the science nerds are upset, but they're okay with it cause at least she's honest and everything.

but at the same time, i can't even begin to imagine what the b and c storylines are going to be with this one, so it may be a good episode after all.

hawaiian style

2006-02-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

before i go any further on lars von trier's manderlay, allow me to say one quick thing about bryce dallas howard: the carpet matches the drapes. with that said though, manderlay is a better film than von trier's first piece of his two part american trilogy, dogville. von trier's message about american politics, culture and society is heard loud & clear without being bogged down in the somewhat showyness of dogville. although, i still feel that the last 5 to 10 minutes of the film are too preachy and too heavy handed. every country has done something that they're not proud of in the past, we get it. the reason why i believe manderlay works better is bryce dallas howard; there's a level of naivety that she brings to the film that comes to the film because she's such a young actor in the film industry. since, she's a the child of a hollywood cash cow director, but that doesn't mean you're automatically the world's greatest actor (example: sofia coppola in the godfather part 3), and what's the only other film most people saw with bryce dallas howard in it? the village? who hasn't already repressed that cinematic memory? in manderlay, bryce dallas howard actually gets to act and she's really good as grace; like i said, she brings this naivety to the role that is so vital and neccessary for it to work. it was a blessing in disguise that nicole kidman hated work with lars von trier because we get a well made, engaging, insightful, even if its a bit heavy handed. it makes sense in a way that von trier has decided to stop his 'american' trilogy with this film because i really don't know where he could go with it. von trier not only tackles racisim and classicism, but also, i think the film is a metaphor for the current war in iraq. well, any film these days that can have that message if you scratch and dig at the surface long enough. manderlay isn't as drawn out and as tedious as dogville was; yet there isn't a great shot like that shot of kidman's grace hiding in the truck.

but also, take my words with a heaping amount of salt because i'm not von trier expert; his film while beautiful and technically interesting; all are just too bleak and pitful and i know thats a reflection of life and what not, but you know these dannish, sweedish people need to light the fuck up when it comes to the movies. you see, i feel as if i should make a film about the dannish experince without ever stepping a foot in the country and doing a little bit of research and it'll be a crushing assault on their life style. why not? lars von trier sorta did the same thing.

whatever happened to the band, white magic? i guess that they're the side project of a side project of some other band i'd probably not like, but white magic, i dig. so come on, guys, get on the trolley and put out another record.

as for the new prefuse; i love his work, but it was sorta like musicial wallpaper. you put it out and listen to it, but rarely make an emotional connection with it; maybe it's a grower (copyright dan from mental sword fighting), but i'm not sure if there's a track on there that i'm dying to listen over and over again with. doesn't matter though cause the dude made "one word extinguisher".

just because one checks the front page of gods girls a couple of times a day doesn't make it go live any quicker. i have to say that i haven't seen a movement rise up as quickly and become as popular as the whole gods girls thing did. they're like the dip set of alt pin up or something. definately get 'em girls.

while i've only seen the first 10 to 15 minutes of the orignial film, but those 15 minutes were fucking amazing and probably better than the rest of the film, but hollywood is remaking the hidden; orignial film info here. its a catchy premise, but why not remake weirder movies from different eras; for example, a remake of the beautiful trainwreck of a film, the gong show movie but with either seacreast out or simon cowell and do american idol: the movie. sure, its already been done, but it really wasn't a movie version of the show; why not do a movie about simon cowell going nuts and taking a bat to somebody who starts to sing to him while he's in a public toliet. basically thats what the gong show movie is, chuck barris going nuts and scenes of him singing country songs and its nearly 90 minutes long. so why not do a movie about seacrest tripping on lsd and dropping out on society and starting a religious cult in arizona or new mexico.

i don't know but i think i've lost my touch if i made two american idols and had to use two blogs to make them. dag.

that d block 50 diss track is kinda weak sauce. why can't anybody make a good diss record in 2006? cam's was nice, but it wasn't that hard. 50 was straight garbage; the game probably dropped another 1000 bars that bordered on being beyon repetious, then there's this? what happened to rap battles? right now, it just seems like that show, "crossfire" on cnn. a bunch of cranky dudes arguing over nothing that really matters and nobody is making a valid and precise point about each other.

hello goodbye

2006-02-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

adios johnny. oh how we won't miss your slacked jaw look of confused and excitement.

stereogum has some new yeah yeah yeahs action for y'all and palms out has the motherfucking remix by diplo.. karen o sounds like a particular singer from the 80s on these new tunes, but i have yet to put my finger on it.

now, i have a problem with modern music or at least the way i listen to music these days. ever since i got sirius, i never listen to cds in my car anymore. you know, what's the point? i got stern in the morning and i got stern on my way home from school, its a match made in heaven. and when i'm cruising around, i can listen to the aphillitates (btw, apparently, 2006 is dj drama's year and we're just living it; the jeezy tape is nice and oddly so is the young buck/g un(i)ot south mixtape) or flip the dial and listen to the editors or whatever the new buzz band is. before i had this thing, i'd listen to cds non stop in my car, but now, i primarily listen to music and albums on my ipod, but even then, i barely have enough time to listen to a full album before class starts. so i'm at a crossroads, if you will, the new prefuse 73 album is out today and i'm wondering if i should just buy, yeah i'll buy anything by scott herren, if i should buy the physical album or should i just itunes it? the only place i'm going to really listen to is on the ipod; or am i going to get sick of sirius in a few months? still, listen to stern and all, but you know, burnt out by all of the other stuff on the service. i mean, sirius does need a left of center hip hop channel because i don't know where i'll be able to listen to new el-p or little brother records.

i wish dj shadow had the level of productivity that scott herren has cause i know we wouldn't have another "entroducing..." but still, more records evens out the batting average.

upon a second listen, karen o sounds like to me, tegan & sara on that new yyys track; damn these heirs of the spigel catalog dynasty; isn't there anything they can't do? they make awesome movies and good records; what's next, being the most killerest president and vice president in the history of the united states of america?

ted leo signs with touch & go records; now i can longer claim being punk cause i listen to stuff on lookout records. unless, op ivy still counts?

a constant forge

2006-02-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

i wonder if adam brody breaks out the acoustic guitar on sunday mornings and attempts to play spoon's amazingly beautiful, "i summon you," to wake up rachel b? or does he just roll over, smoke a bowl, blasts akron/family, then asks if she wants anything from the circle k?

honestly, peeps, i have no flipping clue as to where i should begin.

well, this guy, i believe is the second person ever to confuse me with semi professional baseball player, doug reinhardt, who also is from the greater orange county area and i believe in the angels system, but maybe not. who knows with people in the minors and i wouldn't put it past the g.m of the angels to deal him away, i mean those shitheads let this happen.

but really, thats not what's getting my goat currently. once again, i had moved my computer set up and recently connection problems start to pop up again, which is why i left the inital set up in the first place. at first, i blamed the isp, cause usually its their fault. but this time around, it was actually my fault. the phone wire hooked up to my modem was terrible and since the wire connected me frome one side to the other side; i had to move everything to the other side and its a bit cramped right now and looks like a bomb went off.

i think the spin off blog most likely be the home to yokes i forgot to write on the other one. as you see, i'm not really that quick on my feet and i always think of something clever to say after the fact. whether it be on the way home or as i'm falling asleep, i always think of something more clever to say after the fact. so last week on my thing about that 50 'game' diss track, i would like to also add, that oprah did a better job of ripping james frey apart than 50 did with the game. you know, what happened to 50, didn't he destroy ja rule? granted, that its not hard to take apart ja rule, but come on, get those mobb deep guys to do some better ghost writing than that next time around.

school has started last week and i'm still feeling it. so, in other words, very few embarrassing and wacky stories to tell so far. although, i'll say this, i have a professor this semester who co wrote a film with a director i greatly admire and i think maybe, i can catch a break on weird things in my script, which will be good for me and you because i won't have a mid week breakdown where i claim i hate writing.

an interesting thing did happen to me when i was at school on friday. i know, friday classes sounds like the worst idea, but i have to say, i love it so far because nobody is there. you cruise around campus without bumping into somebody you dont want to talk with. and there's no protesters or people asking you to sign their petition. the only downside of friday classes for me is that my last class of the day is over around 5 o'clock, so i'm in mild traffic and i miss bubba the love sponge's show that day. anyways, getting to the point, so i'm leaving school and i'm cutting through the library and remember the campus is a virtual ghost town, so this guy comes up to me and hands me a little package. at first, i pay not attention to it because i assumed it was some sorta religious material and as soon as the guy left, i was gonna throw it away, but i take a closer look at the thing and it turns out to be a little package from planned parenthood. safe sex yadda yadda yadda business. now, here's the thing, whoever from planned parenthood sent that guy down to my school on friday afternoon, didn't go to a normal college or at least doesn't remember collegee, cause most people in college, the weekend usually begins on wednesday or thursday night. so they sorta missed the boat on that one, not to mention, the campus is more of a commuter campus. yet, its the thought that counts.

and a weird thing is that i'm taking a class on comtemporary american cinema and we have to watch gummo, which has been a film i've been avoiding all of my life.

now, the other day, i made a brief mention that i had sold out. i didn't sell the skeet on.. empire or get a yob. nothing of that nature. no, i sold out by buying a pair of jeans from the gap. for years, i swore that i'd never wear clothes from that store, but something happened on thursday that made it okay for me to buy gap jeans. so i was in the levis store, talking to the sales gal about the different kind of washes and colors; i wanted something not so light, but not so dark; a middle ground and she said that they didn't have any, then she pointed to another selection of jeans. now what followed, felt like a recreation of that scene in taxi driver when sport says to travis bickle, "buddy, you don't look hip." so the girl points to a selection of the ripped up, overpriced jeans and in a very condescending tone says to me, "and we have these ones, but, you know, 'they're in'." i got verbally smacked in the face then and as i was leaving the wall, i pasted the gap, saw jeans in the color i was interested, tried them and by george, they fit and even better, they make my fat ass feel skinny. the normal size i wear and they're hanging on me; i had to break out the belt to keep them up. so i sold out by becoming one of the numerous who wears clothing from the gap. now, i just worry that this is apart of some grand scheme of me actually acting my age. i'm wearing these kinds of jeans, i use my actual photo on my space profile and i'm sorta like fiona apple these days. even worst, i have a slightly positive attitude; given that i still hate to leave my house, but you know, i'm taking a brighter look upon things.

boo-urns!

2006-02-02T21:30:00.000-08:00

'pumkin' from vh-1's rather excellent "flavor of love is not on the show because she's into flavor; she's there because she's a reality tv hoe. as evident in this horrible picture i took on my phone off her on an episode of "next". what a skeezer and hopefully, flav tells her time's up this week because she's not in it for the love of the man, but the love of a camera and a boom mic. honestly, i excepted more out of a substitue teacher and cheerleader coach.

coming on strong

2006-02-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

tonight is a brand new episode of "veronica mars" and you have no excuse on missing it tonight. there's no "lost" and there's no bullshit presidental speech where he doesn't actually give any details about his plans fo the future, he's just gave away bits and pieces like he's morrisey revealing the track list for the new album. and you can always set the dvr and check it out on your own time, but dudes, check out "veronica mars" tonight. now, here's a thing, my birthday is about 19 days away and one of the few things i want besides an american apparel purple scarf, is to be one of those guys over v.mars' shoulder. sure, it'll look a bit weird; maybe i can't pass for a high school kid anymore, but, i honestly believe i'd make for an excellent student at neptune high. i know i should check craig's list all time to check out for extra work, but whenever i do look, is like extra work on a bleeding cycle of daisy chain cry babies music video.

although, if v mars gets another season on the cw! and she goes to college, then, i have to figure out to be an extra then because i think i know how to be a good college student, thats all i've been doing the past few years.

school started back up this week and i've only had one class so far and i can't really say anything as of yet. i haven't had that moment where i felt like i was in a scene from fellini's 8 1/2 or any great embarrassing moment. you know, its just me tooling around campus, trying too hard not to laugh while listening to a massive back log of ricky gervais podcasts and parking hasn't been as awful as it was last time. could be better, but i guess we have valvet parking or whatever the fuck 'assisted parking' means.

related: i wasn't too far off when i wrote a spec script for "extras" about ricky gervais meeting larry david; anybody have video of this? or is hbo going to put it on the stateside dvd release of "extras"?

the broken social scene's rather excellent & amazing performance on conan last night. feist needs to make a more 'rock n roll' album next time around cause when i saw her in concert with her and guitar, she lovingly talked about how she used to rock and made a fist and then you watch her on conan, yeah, she needs to rock. and if i was super wealthy and i was turning sweet 16, i'd bug my parents to get them to play my party. [via goldenfiddle]

although, seeing broken social scene on conan reminded me of one of my concert mistakes, i decided to sleep a bit later and go for a swim and come to sunday at coachella in the late afternoon and completely missed their set and i've been kicking myself ever since. so, they need to come back to california and everybody should buy their tickets after i buy my tickets. let me in, i'll just need a couple of tickets, so they'll be enough left for everybody else.

why isn't little cigars on dvd? i think the world needs to see a movie about midget bank robbers more than they need to see the first season of nick cannon's wylin' out.

skeet of the union part 2 (odds & sods edition)

2006-01-31T08:01:00.000-08:00

this shouldn't be as long or as long winded as the orignial 'skeet of the union' address, this one is more or less, jokes i forgot to write the first time through. so if it seems incomplete, randon, and naturally, pointless, well, yeah.

i sincerely hope that not only the k-fed behind a studio consule dance becomes the hot new rage, but more importantly, i hope with all of my hopes that we get to hear either stuart scott or some other sports center dude scream, "popozao!" during a highlight reel. i really hope that within the next couple of months, the sports worlds embrace this term and make it the new booya.

but it should be noted, i rarely ever watch sports center, so i don't know if it'll become a sports catch phrase for a monsterous dunk over shawn bradley, if shawn bradley was still playing, that is. back at the height of 'seacrest out!' mania, i really thought sportscasters were gonna jump all over it during baseball season. you know, show some clip and barry bonds knocking a dinger and the guy could say, 'bonds, at the plate and it's seacrest out of here!'

and how scary good is craig kilborn's post 'late late show' acting & writing career? why can't he come back to espn unless, people are completely over the asshole sports guy, which i totally understand.

i've asked this question before about certain sluts' albums and how their albums aren't ever leaked, yet, we can get the new arcade fire album. sure, most people would love to have the new arcade fire album, but at the same time, why can't a copy of k fed's album pop up on line? its the only way that people are actually going to listen to the album because from what i understand of k fed's purposed distrubtion plan sounds something to the affect of him and britney rears[nsfw] (the real britney doesn't do personal appercanes) selling cds in the trunk of his suv in a del taco parking lot next to a high school. you know why isn't that certain albums get leaked where as other albums don't get leaked at all? sure i could download 'popozao' and bump in a my car, but where the fuck is the rest of the album? i saw that studio k fed was in; there was rock n roll guitars and you just know that k fed is probably more scary talented on those guitars than a 'panama' era eddie van halen.

speaking of 'panama,' when are we ever going to get the state on dvd? sure, mtv can crank dvd after dvd of that horrible show where that one guy whose really into sweedish metal punches his uncle in the nuts for 22 minutes, but when it comes to one of the best sketch shows ever, mtv bitches out and talks about 'music clearance' issues. mtv, if you're not going to release, give the project over to a company like shout factory and let them deal with musicial rights and what not. not only do i need to watch the sketch about a guy named doug that made me feel like the coolest person when i was in the 5th grade, but i also need to see the blueberry sketch again.

sadly, there are just too many things that need to be out on dvd, but the two most important ones are raiders of atlantis and of course, '"the state". and i was about to head into this gray zone where i say that its okay for one thing to be bootlegged because i don't want to waste my money on stuff that'll make my ears bleed, but at the same time, i'm saying releasing stuff prevents bootlegging and people spending time downloading. well, thats a half truth. we can never stop bootlegging and we can never stop people leaking stuff onto the internet, but here's the thing, when it comes to brills, brills, brills, brills sketch comedy, we need a high quality release on dvd, not some 10th generation video dub of a show with the commercials poorly cut out.

i had an idea for a slam against senator ted stevens because he's the douche whose been pursuing regulations and potential censorship of services like siruis & hbo and i was upset because you know, stevens is from alaska and i thought for a minute or at least, i got the impression from somebody who called stern a few weeks back who lived in alaska talked about how they can't get sirius out there and how he has to listen through the internet; so i had this as my ace in the hole and i was going to talk about what i thought the role of being a senator from a particular state meant looking after the best interests of the citizens of said state and what they wanted; so you know what's the point of trying to launch legsliation to regulate hbo or sirius, if the people who live in alaska can't even get it up there. then, i remembered that there's a sirius canada. so if the signal reaches canada, it probably could reach alaska, but still even if it doesn't reach alaska, then what the fuck is ted stevens doing?

has anybody else ever got that extremely disappointed feeling when they saw some cute latin girl who doesn't have any ass? ever been there? seriously, thats what i think 2006 is going to be like. here's this super cute girl and she has better taste in music than you do and she has a better bootleg of holy mountain than you do, but she's got no ass. its just going to be a lot of build up, for what?

useless invetions

2006-01-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

the fact that willa holland's step father is the man who gave us such cinematic offerings as blow out, scarface, and carrie explains so much about her. although, you'd think he'd show her carrie as a warning tool, but i think he was way into showing her dressed to kill instead.

pre sales for whoachella '06 start this weekend, but i dunno; looking at the confirms & rumors over here, it just doesn't seem worth the money and the time. although, i did enjoy and apperciate all of the water weight i lost while i was in the desert for '04, but its nothing like going just to see lcd soundsystem's first show in southern california. and of course, it'd be nice and fun to see da mode, but at the same time, half the fun of seeing da mode is seeing da fans in dair element and you know, if their make up and what have you nots have been smeared and their hair is wilting, then it won't be that much fun or am i just getting cure fans confused mode fans? while both bands are different, the fanatics are sorta the same.

nas is launching his own imprint with def jam; still no word when the nas/primo album will come out. my guess, probably you'll get about three tracks with primo on the nas def jam album debut, but you know loads and loads of scott scrotch joints cause he's what happening!

i understand that apple and the itunes store needs all the content they can get for the video ipods and some networks (hi there fox!) are being dicks about putting some of their shows out there for download for a nominal fee as opposed to the people downloading the shows for free and then get the software to convert it themselves for free. you know, thats good and all and quite frankly, it doesn't affect me that much because i don't have a video ipod and if i did, i wouldn't want to watch tv on it because its too small of a screen and my hands would get extremely tired holding the ipod up or my neck would hurt, etc. now, what gets my goat is that nickelodon has released one of my favorite shows, "zoey 101" onto the video ipod format, before they have even thought about putting the show out onto dvd. sure, we're all looking forward to the dvd release of "the spring break up" movie, but when are you going to get seasons 1 and 2 on dvd? spongebob is all over the place with dvds, but why not "zoey 101" and for that matter, is there really alot of kids in the target audience for "zoey 101" with video ipods and a handy credit card just aching to drop 40 or so bucks on some tiny quinne does a wacky experiment crackemups? a dvd would get more play than a video ipod besides doesn't this go against the whole creedo of nick? you know forcing kids to go outside and play? sure, the kid with the video ipod might go outside more often, but the kid is just gonna sit down under neath some tree and watch some more tv, thus defeating the purpose of motiviating kids to get health. now, if these kids download their dora the explorers and hit the treadmill while watching them, then i see your point, but you just know that kids only go to the gym so they can wear their super exensive designer track suit and flirt with the receptionst.

to everybody who at one point or another in the last year bugged me about listening to akron/family, i've done it and its good and if i worked in an office, some of my co workers may have asked if it was religious music, but not in the animal collective sorta way.

while this baby may have gone to the robertson blvd to get its clothes, it does know how to totally party it up; cause you know, that yellow hat was the closet thing to a lamp shade and that baby knows that the only way to make a party official is if you wear the lamp shade on your head, michael scott status.

dude, shannyn sossamon is back, but not in pog form, but back never the less. i remember in 2003s when every girl wanted to dress like her and everybody wanted to be her friendster. while i did not send her a friendster addd, i did send either the real or fake shannyn sossamon a note about her hair and i think i text messaged everybody about getting a 'thanks' responce from her. is there anybody out there right now like shannyn sossamon that all the 'cool' girls want to be and all the guys who wish they were cool want to date? there was a streak and a period there, but, she went away, had a kid and now, she's on the comeback. it should be noted, i wrote a short story about a couple going to shannyn sossamon's kid's birthday party and how the moving units played it. further related; robin brown talks about the time we saw shannyn sossamon about a badly drawn boy show and hand to god, she checked us out

i don't know what exact point, but sometime during the screen actors guild awards, i learned to stop loving actors and hate them all over again. they just rub me the wrong way; talking like acting is hard work and what not; when basically, all the hard work is done by grips, gaffers, and production assitants. lets see the cast of "grey's antamony" break down a couple of 2k lights without a pair of gloves, then we'll talk about acting be so hard. yes, there is some skill involved with acting and good acting should be rewarded, but at the same time, actors are totally stupid if they believe that sean hayes is the best comedic performer on television. i'd make a joke about people not watching "will & grace," but the thing is that its true and its not that clever of a punch line. will arnett is the funniest person on television, followed closely behind by brian baumgartner; all of the other nominees in the male comedic actor category outside of larry david & jason lee aren't funny at all. you know fuck well, its funny nearly 20% of the time drama shows being in the comedy category. then these actors give awards to horrible movies like crash. anyways, why is eva longoria sitting on marcia cross' lap? are they the new willie tyler & lester or are they more like wayland flowers & madme? either way you cut the cheese, i sense an upcoming episode of "deseperate housewives" where bree and gabrielle perform in the local town show together.

related: shout out to the girl next marcia cross for also being a redhead, too.

further related: who the fuck pulled the clips on sag awards? those clips felt so random and incomplete. like all of the clips of best female actor in a drama series was just a bunch of chicks yelling where as the clips of male actors in a drama were quiete whispers, what gives?

and finally, who else saw "the flavor of love" last night and the extremely sad depature of my favorite, red oyster? she left for all the right reasons and i hope everything is okay with her family, but if she didn't leave, you know that new york was out of there. i wish it would've been new york; sure i don't like hottie that much, but at least, she says funny stuff half the time.

throw it up

2006-01-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

if spliting a jay with katlin cooper got seth cohen that out of control and that fucked up, then she has to be the most sinister drugh pusher hollywood has produced since denzel washington in training day. okay, not really. sadly, i wrote that line before i watched the infamous episode of "the oc" where seth finally sparked a j, but here's my thing, who else now believes that seth cohen or at least, actor adam brody was doing key bumps in between takes of that one scene where he's practicing his interview with ryan in the cabana? the dude was sounding like james brown [via buddyhead]. there was always a sneaking suspicion in the back of our mind that seth was probably a midnight toker or at least, sandy kept a secret stash somewhere in the house and told ryan not to narc him out if ryan ever found it, but i guess, the cohens only vice is tiny & tight penguin shirts, wife beaters (the shirt), carbs, and the bottle, which equals boring. and the way they're treating seth's drug use is somewhat similar to that scene from an after school special where helen hunt jumped out of 2nd story window and was freaking out while on pcp.

so, i guess, like in a couple of episodes, seth will learn an important lesson and at the end of season three, we'll see seth going to rehab for summer vackay, right? i guess that's the writers taking things in a new direction and a reasonable way to keep the kids in the oc for at least, two more seasons. gotta get that syndication dough, dudes. and is anna coming back to be part of seth's intervention cause that's a lame reason to bring her back.

although, i'll say this, i actually liked parts of this episode, well, the katlin parts and yes, i felt extremely creepy and uncomfortable and i most likely need to take another shower, but there's something infinetly more interesting and compelling about her then the rest of the borefests on the show. she's slutty, she's stuck up, she deals pot, and she's friends with nikki reed. willa holland's performance on the show is somewhat similar to christopher walken in any movie that he's been in recently. it doesn't make alot of sense in the grand scheme of the storyline and it seems as if she's on a completely different show, reading a completely different script, but you can't keep your eyes away from the tv because she's bound to do something interesting.

and the last thing i'll say about "the oc" until that great moment when johnny falls off the cliff; well, here's a thing, why does every guy scorned by mischa b, call up ryan, grab a bottle of boone's farm and injury themselves. you know, johnny's not going to die, but he'll be off the show finally. yet, johnny will be replaced by nikki reed and from what i heard, nikki reed will be a love interest from the character of ryan. gross o ross or some writer is still really hung up on that brief era after high school when nerdy guys were finally able to get high school girls.

well, i'm not done with this episode, i still have issues with it not being interesting. you know, sandy compromising his business morals just doesn't translate well on television. in a novel or a play, yeah, go nuts, but tv, internal conflict just isn't that much fun. now, what would've been interesting was if in that final scene where sandy was sitting in his office, upset about his decision, he gets a phone call from that weird vice president guy and he sounds shook and nervous and scared and he mumbles something about the guy from the development group going crazy. sandy tries to calm him down, then we cut to a shot of a dead hooker in a hotel room, the land, development guy sandy was wining & dining, is crying, covered in blood and talking about how she wanted rough sex. now that would shake the oc to its very foundation and if danny bonaduce was there, he'd shake the rafters down to the very foundation, too.

you know, these writers need to shake things up a bit. sure, key bumps keeping you going for the whole party, but guess what, doing a line like the one guy in the openning of miike's dead or alive is ten times more fun. these characters need to have break ups where they stay broken up; these characters need to issues with addiction that actually linger around for longer than they do; these characters don't need to be involved with new characters that only subtract to the show. shit, tim gunn and pastor troy need to hang out with these writers and give them some tough love.

and that soundtrack lady needs to use giant drag's "cordial invitation," one of these days because that song rules and more people need to be into giant drag.

the passenger element

2006-01-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

"i'm not gonna just keep beating up on an old man," cam told reporters. "if he retaliates, we'll be prepared. but like i said, a lot of people said, 'cam made a dis record.' i didn't make a dis record. If i said beyoncé is on my second record talking about slinging crack, she's on my record talking about slinging crack. ... if i say somebody looks like a camel, they look like a camel. If i say somebody was wearing sandals, they was wearing sandals. this is not a dis record." oh, i love killa cam.

finally after too long of a break, "veronica mars" came back, and what an episode. while, i won't go into the gory spoilerish details about the show because a) you should've watched it b) you should've tivo'ed and of course, you could hit the torrent circuit. and with "lost' being so awful last night as well as going into reruns for the next couple of weeks, it's the perfect time to jump on the v mars trolley. if you live in the la/orange county area, the show will re run on sunday at 5pm, i believe. rob thomas, v mars' series creator, the only talented rob thomas in the world and his staff of writers know to weave characters in and out of storylines without it feeling forced and un natural, and most importantly, un boring, if such a word exists. new charcters pop in and it actually makes sense as to why they're there; you know, we're not going to see veronica's younger sister pop up to sex things up for sweeps cause veronica doesn't have a younger sister and charisma carpenter will sex things up if necessary and spots on the show make sense and she cracks kiler one liners. i just can't explain how good this show is and how most of you are sleeping on it. i slept for a while, but then najork got hip me to the scene and i've been grateful ever since. maybe next fall, more people will be into it when it's on after "the gilmore girls" on the cw!

has anybody else wished that one of these ladyboys who've been on "american idol" this season would've busted out "hope there's someone" by antony & the johnsons instead of a whitney houston song? cause that song and well, antony's singing style sort matches up with this onslaught of bizzaro ladyboys.

anybody seen that lisa loeb show? yeah, me either. i saw some footage of an episode and like isaac mirzahi was talking to lisa loeb about her underwear, then like the next shoot is of lisa loeb cruising around in a thong. and i have two questions, why is isaac mirzhahi talking to chicks about their undies as of late? what is he, the gay howard stern? and two, why would anybody want to see lisa loeb in a thong? and i still can't wrap my head around the whole concept of it being okay and irrevelent and funny for isaac mirzhahi to cop a feel on scarlett johannson and check for terri hatcher's v.p.l.. a awkward feel up is still a awkward feel up even if it's done by a fashion designer. maybe, it's all one big scam by isaac mirzhahi; he's like a reverse liberace and he's actually enjoying honking some 16 czech model's hooters.

first off, we all know one reason why i hate "skating with celebrites", they took off my bluths, but i have a more personal reason as to why i hate this show. and hopefully, i haven't told this story yet, but here it goes. kristy swanson is featured on this show in a feeble attempt to jump start her carrer because you know, she's just one of those celebrities whose never quite made it; caught a break or two, but you know, it just missed with the general population. also, it should be noted that kristy swanson is a local orange county girl and guess where kristy swanson's mom worked? at my high school; she was in the guidance department or she helped kids get the paperwork through, so they could get a part time job or something. never the less, she worked there and she was supposed to help kids out with their future plans. so, one morning, during home room period, we all took a trip down to her office to meet with her and you know, plan out our future, even though we're a bunch of freshmen and the only thing worth thinking into the future, at the time, was what are you doing on friday night. anyways, getting to the point, we're sitting in this tiny room and i take out a folder to grab some paper to take notes with and a girl sit next to me, asks for a piece of paper. me being a nice guy, of course, hands it over to her. she says thanks and somewhere inbetween when this girl said thanks and me saying 'you're welcome'. kristy swanson's mom started to talk. in this brief 2 millasecond time frame, she launched into her speech and little old me whispering a welcome to somebody just set kristy swanson's mom off and she said yelled at me, for saying you're welcome. it's not like i was carrying on a conversation with the kid next to me about stern that morning or listening to stern for that matter on my little walkman radio. i was just being polite, but no, you can't be in kristy swanson's mom's world. you always have to pay attention to her. and that says alot about kristy swanson, too. total attention hog and you can't be polite around her. so fuck kristy swanson and fuck kristy swanson's mom.

"this is for nufus!," a tribute to raiders of atlantis

2006-01-25T08:01:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago, i saw a trailer for a film called, raiders of atlantis on the rather excellent dvd, "42nd street forever". there was a period where i watched the trailer at least three times a day. and i've contacted some of dvd companies known for releasing the b pictures about this title, but i haven't got that much of a response. so, if anybody works or knows somebody that works for: anchor bay or blue underground or mondo macabro or no shame, tell them to release this film immediately. i'm dying to see it and sure, i could pay 20 bucks and buy a bootleg, but you know, bootlegs are never of that great quality.

so, below are caps from the trailer and allow me to explain the story or at least what i know of the story from the research i've done on the film in addittion, to my countless viewings. now the film, it was an italian production that was probably shot either in 1982, but the story is somewhat in the future, 1999 and is about the city of atlantis rising up from the ocean and reclaiming what once was theirs. now the lost citizens of atlantis have been living all this time and they look like members of the kiss army and they're armed to the teeth and going to kick some major ass. and of course, there's a rag tagged group of survivors who aren't going to let earth be taken over by a bunch of underwater freaks.

now, here's only a brief sampling of what's in this film; beware it may be a bit gorey.

here we see the humans setting up a boobie trap if you will, but for who i wonder?

oh, check it out, it's a raider of atlantis riding a motorcycle (i forgot to snap the wide shot of the dude on his bike)

ah snaps.

insert your own pun here.

and yes, they have a shot of the headless body continuing to drive the motorcycle down the street.

now, how can you not want to watch this movie? it looks so amazing. it should be noted, that the soundtrack for the trailer is this pretty funky italian disco thing. if you heard it, you'd be dancing.

also, this isn't even the best part of the trailer.

the bridge is over [updated...noon pst]

2006-01-24T10:50:00.000-08:00

now, for a while, everybody has said that the cobrasnake isn't that cool anymore; its the same 10 people and steve aoki each update. nothing new, nothing exciting, and quite frankly, its really hard to come up with new captions for the same 7 girls each day. but, now, the snake is officially done. the nail has been placed in the coffin, and whatever analogies you care to use in this situation. when wilmer valderrama and rob fucking thomas show up on the site looking as if they just got busted for a hot and heavy make out session, it's just over, johnny. it's over. wilmer valderrama just ruins everything.

the thing about the wb/upn merger, i don't think it'll affect "veronica mars," cause both the reporter and variety make mention of the show as one of the few that upn will keep in the merger; i guess channel 13 in la will become the home 3 to 4 hours of daily simpsons reruns since fox owned upn stations are left out in the cold.

the bitch in you, part 2.

2006-01-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

this is perhaps the creepiest thing i've ever seen and that's saying alot coming from me. [link via the thigh master (thanks for the link the other day)].

i wonder how much money it'll cost me to get a intro to this blog from mannie fresh? i don't want a beat or anything, but you know you know him just getting the attention of bad ass out of control children to the hotness of skeet on willa; what, what!

i think this is the blog where i talk about my obessesion with mtv's "next". i have a huge problem with this show; like i'll end up until staying up until two in the morning watching it if a mini marathon pops up. i think part of me watches day after day, hour after hour to witness another classic moment like when the girl fell down the bus stairs or the time when the girl peed her pants while at the manhattan beach joe's crab shack. then, there's the part of me that watches because i want to see somebody from my school or have encountered in my daily travels. like when "next" was first on the air, i saw a girl on there who happened to be the model for a friend's old clothing company, so it was rather surreal and pretty spot on, since at the end of the day, the dude went with the money instead of a second date. anyways, getting to the point, i was watching "next" yesterday afternoon and guess what happens, not only does one of the girls on the bus go to my school, but i've had two classes with her in my brief time at the school, so i assume that she's in my major. and it wasn't like we sat on opposite sides of the classroom; we sat somewhat near each other and you know, made the brief, mindless, killing time before class starts chit chat and quite frankly, if she pops into a class of mine next monday afternoon, its going to be rather difficult for me to look at her and not think about how she got "next'ed" within ten seconds. i can try to wait until somebody else brings it up, but i don't think that'll be possible; i don't think anybody is that obessesed or into "next" as i am, let alone, bringing up the fact that she got nexted; we all know how embarrased we'd be if that happened to us, but to actually see somebody that it happened to, i dunno. i just feel as if i should carry around a basket of cookies and brownies and say something about feeleing better one of these days.

the thing about nas signing with def jam is that it tells me that hova won the war between him and nas. sure, nas may have killed him on record, but you know, a couple of years later, nas is coming over to the guy to get a record deal. i'm sure that there had to have been some courting on the behalf of def jam to sign nas, but, i dunno, it just seems like a cop out for nas to sign with jay. sure, def jam is a historical label, but correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't every album unless you're 'ye or jay, gets pushed the way fuck back. i remember when the new ghostface album was supposed to be out in november or december of last year, then it got pushed back to late february and now, according to their site, the album has been pushed back to march. the only way, your shit will get released on def jam is if you're a cute girl wtih a big ass singing some dancehall tune that's a mild summer anthem. it doesn't matter about your lyrical skills or critical acclaim or if you're super huge amongst the rap nerd circles. unless, you got that killer 50 style hook and what's hot right now beat, the masters will just collect dust on vaults. look at redman, nore, and the shit that juelz went through with his last album. and quite frankly, nas albums with exception to "illmatic" are extremely hit and miss; lots of fast forwarding or just downloading the tracks by primo; so the primo/nas is absolutely necessary, but just a regular nas album; i don't know. i don't even believe that the carter admistration came bring nasty nas; that dude has disappeared.

fox is getting into the late night talk show game with spike feresten. for those scratching their heads, spike feresten used to write for letterman, seinfeld, and the episode of "the simpsons," with all of the dr strangelove references as well as the classic reference for the scorpins' "rock you like a hurricane". will it be good? probably not, but i'll sign off on it anyways

kevin from "the (american) office" said on his blog that the show got picked up for another season. so did "my name is earl,"; let's just hope that "earl" doesn't steal away anymore writers from "arrested.." dude, barbie feldman adler who co wrote last year's finest half hour of tv known as "meet the veals" wrote that 'earl' episode with jon farveau in it on a week or two ago. thats why "earl" is getting better, they're stealing all of the good writers; wonder if they'll try to get mitch hurwitz?

also, "the (american) office," needs to have a guest apperance by albert brooks as either michael scott's mentor or father. trust me, it'll be hilarious and it'll make sense.

smoking gun (dot)com to become a tv series? what? okay, i guess. it should be noted that the offer has and will always be on the table to hollywood to turn this blog and its sister blog into a tv series. its the wacky mad capped adventures of a guy who tries to come up with his material as he attempts to avoid being beaten up by a pack of bros wearing olde english shirts at a bowling alley. and we all know our conditions for the rights to my lifestory. either executive producer status and or show runner status, a driver, a sirius radio for my office, a trainer, 3 million bucks, lifetime supply of lee's sandwiches & fatburgers, yobs for all my friends and the theme song would be, of course, mobb deep's "shook ones pt.2"; in addition to a small percentage of all dvd sales. rather simple deal.

yeah, kobe could score all the points he wants during a game, it still doesn't change the fact that the clips have a better record than the lake show. kobe may become a fan favorite because he can literally be the team, but this one man army can't hack against the suns in the playoffs. the lakers should try to get arrest even if the dude slammed magic in the press. trade a couple of dudes and try to get garnett. and why is kobe wasting all of this energy? doesn't he know that nobody really cares about basketball until after the all star game? everybody is in super bowl mode right now, even me. do you think that the k-o-b-e has all of this extra energy and ablitiy cause vanessa is giving him the cold shoulder in the bed room? dude's backed up and he's gonna take it out on whomever he's playing that night.

an early word to wise, bob schieffer and cbs news has an interview with g.w. bush this friday at 6:30; let's hope it won't be as soft as brian williams's interview in early december, but probably it will. (this one is going to be the more political blog-ed.)

i didn't watch last night's episode of there & back, but i believe i can make a rather fair assumption as to what happened on the show, the o town dude and his girlfriend walked around in panajama pants for most of the episodes and they conducted all of their conversations via speakerphone on the mobile phone. and, ashley angel broke out of freeze frame and totally blew away the fourth wall; its like in outer space or some shit. every episode is the same one; its just different varations on the pj pants theme and i can't explain to you why i hate panjama pants, but i just do and it just doesn't seem like these people want to make an effort in their life because all they wear panjama pants all day long and have poorly pucked eye borrows and haggarded tats. i just dont get the point of it; the whole spending 6 or 10 episodes with a guy who's trying to bring that sorely missed third eye blind brand of rock back. why not do a reality show about some body whose not only talneted but interesting as well, you know, let's do a show about the yeah yeah yeahs making an album. let's see that moment where spike jonze tells karen o that his brother would be an awesome producer for their next album; let's see nick zinner wearing panjama pants and pitching a bitch fest about his pedals. it doesn't even have to be the yeah yeah yeahs, you know, lets do a show about bow wow trying to become a gangster rapper and how he thinks he'll have street cred since he hangs out with mike jones in his videos. let's do that, let's spend time with that; not some guy whose going to complain about having a record deal and how he has to work with these producers. fuck, dude, there are 8 million people in la who'd love to be in that situation, but all we hear is bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

was "24" good last night? i have yet to watch it, but i'm hoping for more unintentionally hilarious moments where jack bauer shouts nonsense while mary lynn rajskub tries to look serious.

and don't forget to pick up that new cat power & jenny lewis albums, if you haven't already got them. probably make for a great birfday gift for mischa b.

with arms outstretched

2006-01-23T08:02:00.000-08:00

is it just me or does kristin from "laguna beach," look a bit different as she guest starts on "veronica mars"? like jennifer grey post dirty dancing weird. like what happened to her? one minute, she's just some cute, goofy girl from laguna, then you check out the promos for her show, "get this party started" and she looks like some house frown from ladera ranch whose more cocerned about placing an order for a margarita than watching her three year old child waddle around a crowded mexican resturant solo.

i tend to shit on s.diego quite a bit. it's the place where relationships go to die; it's the place where if you park in some structure downtown, you have to take out a small loan to pay it off; it's the place where they have sketchy establishments that look like 'club rectum' from the film, irreversible; its where the 5 freeway becomes evil and wants to eat lost & confused motorists alive, but if there are more girls like this living there, then i may have to consider my stance on the place

her, too. also, one time, i was leaving che cafe and the lighting there was rather bizzare and sorta flirty.

i haven't read anything about the government asking for places like yahoo and google for the names and numbers of people who've done searches for dirty things yet, but i'm going to go out on a limb with this one, that it has to be a vialotion of some amendment and quite frankly, it's probably one step closer to a restricted internet. its bad enough we got ted stevens trying to fuck up a beautiful thing like cable & satellite radio (it's a pay service, so we have choosen to have dirty words, sexual situations and violence into our homes and on our radios and there are things like parental blocks to boot), but snooping on peoples' google searches is far worse than these wiretaps the bush admistration has been doing as of late. this admistration has lead us into a useless war built around a flipsy claim of that these terrorists hate our freedom and they'll do anything to stop it, but at the same time, bush seems hell bent to restrict these freedoms we're allegedly fighting for. america is great because i can turn on the tv and watch a movie called busty cops and if i find said movie offensive, i can change the channel to something else. america is great because i get a service like sirius and cruise around at 1 in the morning listening to some new crime mob uncensored and without any commercials. america is great because, if i want to find the answer to some pressing question, i can look it up on google; get an answer and then some. these freedoms is what america great and this is exactly what george bush wants to take away from us. you know, if these dudes have their way, there'll be no outlet for wild and totally incorrect accustations that george w bush has played a crucial and pivtol role in the cancelation of not only "arrested development," but also, "undecleared," and "freaks & geeks".

brokeback mountain a gay movie? i don't know what's so gay about these bare boobies (both nsfw)?

i figure links to boobs counter balance a political attack; you know its the whole tit for tat rule in movies.

its weird because i would never consider myself to be a good parent or at least, i assume that i won't be a good parent, because well, you know that i'll probably make the kid back out of a parking spot for me. the expression, 'daddy doesn't need another panic attack,' will be familiar to the kid as the abc song. you know, in the trunk, i'd probably keep a couple of phone books for the kid to sit on for matters just like this. and well, my lower car model of a wife, she'd be of no help and i'd be too fearful of gettig a divorce cause i didn't get a prenup, but that's a whole other story. yet, here's the thing, while i don't think i'd be a good parent, i know that i wouldn't take my kid into the porn saloon in the back of a tower records. i swear to goodness, i was looking around at the magazines, which happens to be right next to the saloon, when i start to hear the sounds of child coming from there and the parent with the kid shoots me this really embarrassed look and from where i could see, it appears he brought the kid closer to him as opposed, 'oh shit, i've been busted. i better take my kid out of here and pretend to be interested in buying some neil young records for a few minutes until the embarrasement factor has died down'

does anybody know if the girls or the guys that ride the next bus on mtv's "next" are choosen because its what the producers assume that the the person who gets to say 'next''s type is or is it what'll make for the best tv? cause, i'd like to be on next, but as the person who says 'next,' cause if i ever got 'next,' i think i'd never ever got in public again or at least lay low for a couple of months, but as the next shouter person, it'd be so much fun. i mean, just imagine, a bus full of girls from hair school or at least, i'd say that i'm into chubby blondes and just say next after two seconds each time and be the fastest segment in the history of the show.

thank goodness, i'm still on break because i'll need all that time to catch up with what's on the prettiest pony; holy moly; whatever resturant had the catch phrase, 'too much good stuff,' sould give it over to the prettiest pony because they've earned that title.

and, hopefully, poeple got the joke and let's see if i can keep this up for the rest of the week.

young, fresh and new...

2006-01-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

from the creators of "skeet on mischa" comes a new, younger, and much sexyer blog with a bit of a rebelious streak, it's skeet on willa.

coming soon....